So I got a keep calm and carry on notebook to keep track of every calorie that dares to enter my body. I have been stuck at 175 this week and it is really killing me cause I've been trying so hard and not eating and exercising and keeping control and its not showing in the number. I feel a little cloud of depression hanging over until I reach 169, I REALLY hope I'm there by the end of this month or I don't what I'll do. I wanted to be down today so I could justify eating something (and then purging of course) and being alright with it but with still being at 175 I don't know if I will. At the same time I want to stuff my face cause of how depressed I am that I'm not down even one lousy pound...
On a brighter side I only consumed 20 calories yesterday from the two sugar free red bulls I drank to keep me from loosing my sanity and keeping my energy at work.
This is a journey of me (Candy) finding my true self. My true beautiful, skinny, controlled, perfect self I know I can be. I just need to reach that number. :)
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